That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
