i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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