it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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