have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
