The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
