its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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