That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
