Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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