smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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