i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize