You work out of a Hotel?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
