well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
