doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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