Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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