I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So. Much. Porn.
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