you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
