I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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