yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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