I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
