All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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