You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
