haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
