Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
