she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
