I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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