I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Enjoy the penises
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
