wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
