just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
