Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
