don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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