we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
