So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize