I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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