My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
