Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
