yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this boner is exhausting
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
