i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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