I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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