Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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