i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
