John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
