can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
