So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
