No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize