Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
