guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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