yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
