Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
