that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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