I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize