I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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