I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
