He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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