You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize