What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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