the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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