Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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