I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
