just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
