White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
