I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
