It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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