I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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