I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
