so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
